by my favorite barista
Q. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
A. Am I supposed to look in the mirror in the morning? Well, if I did, my first thought would’ve been – “What a cute unibrow you sport”.
Q. How much cash do you have on you?
A. $629.50. Petty theft pays.
Q. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
A. Niels Bohr. Because I dig alternative atomic models.
Q. Do you label yourself?
A. Yes. I am a Fucktard. Because an anonymous commenter called me that on my blog once. So, I know its true.
Q. Bright or Dark room?
A. Bright during sex, dark afterwards.
Q. Why is there always a missing question?
A. You know, we could take this question out and no one would ever know it was missing… (I must hat tip barista for the excellentest answer)
Q. What does your watch look like?
A. A cell phone.
Q. What were you doing at midnight last night?
A. It involved tissues, body paint and soothing lubricants.
Q. Where is your nearest 7-11?
A. Don’t know, hold on, let me ask Sangeev.
Q. What’s a word that you say a lot?
A. Screwballer. Because most people are..
Q. Who told you he/she loved you last?
Q. Last furry thing you touched?
A. This is a PG rated blog.
Q. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
A. I am a digitalista.
Q. Favorite age you have been so far?
A. 2. I could soil my pants and eat with my fingers with impunity.
Q. Your worst enemy?
A. Double stuffed oreos
Q. What is your current desktop picture?
A. Niagara Falls. From a vacation I took there last year
Q. What was the last thing you said to someone?
A. “Sorry. Those parts don’t fit”
Q. The last song you listened to?
A. The Right Profile from the Clash’s London Calling. Best. Album. Ever.
Q. What time of day were you born?
A. Don’t recall. So long ago….
Q. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
A. It involves grievous and revolting bodily functions. I wont elaborate..
Q. Do you consider yourself kind?
A. Kind of dopey.
Q. What’s your life’s motto?
A. “Women weaken legs.”
Q. Name three things you have on you at all times
A. A fendi bag and a bad attitude. Oh, and breathstrips.
Q. Can you change oil on a car?
A. If I could do that, I wouldn’t have such a crappy job.
Q. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
A. Wrote a letter? What is this like the twenties?.