January 14, 2007

Jack Bauer Trivia. Did you know.....

- Many have reported Jack Bauer can defy the laws of gravity. But these instances have only been documented when in pursuit of a rogue terrorist during an imminent terrorist attack.

- Some credit Jack for saving the Baby Jesus from King Herod. The Magi reported seeing him and Agent Curtis just yards away from the manger before his disappearance. Partially for this reason, a Christian sect has been growing in parts of Europe, known as the Bauerites, who regard him as a demigod.

- Jack was not only the first to land on the beaches of Normandy on D-Day, he also mapped out all Nazi troop strongholds and planted transponders on pillboxes on Omaha Beach.

- Jack is affectionately known as ‘Teflon Jack’ by CTU insiders due to his fleshomotomic skin, which is partially bulletproof.

- Jack thwarts an average of 7 terrorist plots per day, giving him approximately 15,800 in his illustrious career.

- Jack invented many of the torture devices utilized by clerics in Medieval times.

- Jack has many other pursuits which often go unmentioned in accounts of him. He is an accomplished pianist, avante garde artist and triathelete.

- Jack was going to thwart the assassination of Abraham Lincoln but was dissuaded otherwise by CTU officials who thought his death would galvanize support for the Union cause. He considers it one of the black marks on his otherwise spotless career.

- Some scientists speculate that Jack utilizes echolocation to locate terrorists in the dark. This is a biological form of sonar, used by bats, dolphins and whales.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Carlton Aberabad III said...

- Jack is an asshole in a fictional TV series that too many people take far too seriously for their own good.

Thu Jan 25, 01:06:00 PM  
Blogger Myra Langerhas said...

I have been caught. You can tell from my post that I take Jack Bauer WAY too seriously. Good work.

Thu Jan 25, 08:24:00 PM  
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