Helen Thomas In Duh House and Off Duh Hook

For fun and amusement, please feed the trolls.

Senility is not something to be mocked. So you have to wonder why the people who prop her up before every press conference don't just put her out to pasture, or more aptly open the door to the padded room.

Drudge posts this exchange between Helen Thomas, American journalism's favorite troll (she was a troll before Father Time started shriveling her brain, so don't go there), and White House press spokesman, Tony Snow:

Helen Thomas, doyenne of the White House press corps, tangles with Tony Snow at today's briefing over President Bush's appointment of Karl Zinmeister as domestic policy adviser:

QUESTION: Why did the president pick a man who is so contemptible of the public servants in Washington to be his domestic adviser, saying, People in Washington are morally repugnant, cheating, shifty human beings. Why did he...

SNOW: Apparently an opinion that's...

QUESTION: Why would he pick such a man to be a domestic adviser?

SNOW: You meant contemptuous as opposed to contemptible I think.

QUESTION: Pure contempt.

SNOW: I'm not sure it's pure contempt. I know Karl Zinsmeister pretty well and he is somebody who expresses himself with a certain amount of piquancy. You're perhaps familiar with that, aren't you, Helen? (LAUGHTER) And so, as a consequence from time to time, he's going to say -- he'll have some sharp elbows.

QUESTION: His attitude toward public servants...

SNOW: I don't think it is his attitude toward public servants. It may have been toward the press. Just kidding. (LAUGHTER) No, look if, you look at the bulk of what Karl Zinsmeister has done at the American Enterprise and elsewhere, I think you're going to find somebody who's done some pretty meaty and interesting research on a variety of topics. The reason he's being brought in is that he's...

QUESTION: Do you agree with his assessment?

SNOW: I'm not going to -- it is one sentence the guy wrote. And perhaps you may recall -- yes?

QUESTION: Arrogant, morally repugnant, cheating, shifty.

SNOW: That's a lot in one sentence, isn't it? He just packed it right in.

Too bad the woman is too crusted to know how hard she has been bitchslapped.

Bravo's Top 100 Comedies

if you'd like to see my top comedies , please go here.

Just a little change of pace from what would normally would be seen here - I wanted to make note how Bravo Network is the lameass, cheeseball network of the week. I don't yet have a full list of their whole Top 100 list of comedies yet, but when I do I will comment, but I do know their Top Ten (with commentary and guesstimate ranking):

10. Arthur (cute movie. watch drunk guy fall - watch him fall in love. shoulda been in the 40's)
9. Blazing Saddles (smart/stupid humor - social satire which laid the path for other stupid comedy genres - the wellspring, the original, top fiver)
8. The Wedding Singer (maybe a little better than Arthur because it is Nice and Cute. I would even call it loving, enduring, heartfealt, nostalgic. Top Ten if you are a wedding singer or are engaged to one. Yawn. Top Ten - Huhhhhhhhhh? Put it in the high thirties, the age of most who appreciate it)
7. Ace Ventura ( I am so torn on this one. Laff laff. Robin Williams with a funny haircut. Not a Top Tenner in my book, by any means, put it in the forties is tough)
6. Airplane! (Unparalleled quickwit. Insane, witty, oddball. If someone called it numero uno, I wouldn't bitchslap 'em. There have been about 50 movies since that have looked to it as a model)
5. South Park (a riproarinTV cartoon gone wild. But sometimes the fact that they push limits on TV makes them less funny when they exceed limits elsewhere. Just me. Still fuckin funnnnay. Back it up to the late twenties though)
4. There is Something About Mary (Is there a Ben Stiller Bendown Critics Society? He has his his moments but is no comic genius. Throw this overrated tripe back to the mid-fifties)
3. Shrek (It is so unfair that the opinions of nine year olds arent brought into this discussion. Cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, to the point that you are swimming with glee in a sugar infused cesspool. Go away. Serve with chicken nuggets and french fries and prop the little'un in front)
2. Caddyshack (Can't argue here. Not a day goes by I don't quote this movie)
1. Animal House (Frat house fun for everyone)

Aggregation

Sewer living Wonkette scrapes the gutter. How hip.

The Religion of Peace leads us to these heartwarming family stories:

UK: Muslim Father Beats Gay Son with a Hammer...
Marrying at Age 2 Creates Complications...
Thai Muslims Open Up a Can of Whoop-Ass on Buddhist Women
9-Year-Old Child Bride Seeks Divorce...

little green footballs alerts us as to the troubles of Saudi women having a workout.

Craig at Red Satellites on the do as I say not as I do attitude of the Mexicanos.

The Pajamas Media folk wonder why the formation of a new Iraqi Cabinet hasn't made headlines. Answer - they need to sport cute little panties on their head.

The daily, "Can I Be More Abstruse Award" goes to dummy Kos who compares mining safety legislation with FCC regulation after Janet Jackson's wardobe malfunction.

An attorney and professor, Joseph Gutheinz, Jr., likens the "Durham Three", the alleged perps in the Duke Lacrosse rape case, to the Scottsboro Nine, nine black teens accused of raping two white women, in a case based upon flimsy and discredited evidence. I hope he writes more on the topic.

Someone seeing what I wish I was seeing...

Duke rape case prosecutor has picked a curious ally in his war against justice, the New Black Panthers:

Malik Zulu Shabazz, an attorney with the New Black Panthers, told Fox News Channel Tuesday that the prosecutor in the Duke rape case shared information and evidence with the Panthers during a meeting.

In an interview with Fox News Channel's Brian Kilmeade and Juliet Huddy, Shabazz said that members of his group, who are protesting the treatment of the alleged victim of a rape by the Duke University lacrosse team, met with the prosecutor to review his evidence against the students.

The Anti-Defamation league has no shortage of quotes from Mr. Shabazz. The New Black kitty kats had no difficulty finding the real culprit:

“For the record, the history of Duke University is riddled in slavery, racist oppression and racism against black people.”

And this melodramatic gem:

Moments later the protesters tried to walk onto Duke's campus, but campus police
stopped them.

“Are you telling me that the president of Duke University is denying the African-American community from coming on this campus?” one protestor asked.

Campus police said the president would not allow the protest to take place on campus because this week is exam week.

When the marchers were turned away from Duke’s gates, they decided to take things into their hands and walk down the streets of Durham straight to the lacrosse house.

Redefining Blight

New York City's overbearing, paternalistic, arrogant, billionaire Mayor has weighed in on the eminent domain debate and has, surprise, surprise, surprise, landed on the wrong side.

Mayor Bloomberg is stepping up his campaign to prevent lawmakers in Albany and Washington from restricting the city's power to seize private property for redevelopment.

In recent weeks, Mr. Bloomberg has traveled to Washington to meet with members of Congress on the issue. He also convened a group of 100 Manhattan-based political donors for a lunch at which he handed out a wallet card of priorities, including "Eminent Domain - Oppose legislation that would cripple affordable housing and responsible re-development (like Times Square)."

"responsible re-development". That might be the most the most creative name for state-sponsored theft. A New York Sun editorial challenges hizzoner on the approaching Columbia University development in Harlem.

A Cheeky Swipe

Apparently Yahoo has a new definition for disgusting profanity. It's called the cheeky swipe.

The Hung Up singer thrilled fans with a six-song set in the Sahara Dance Tent, and took a cheeky swipe at the US leader by changing her song lyrics.

During an energetic rendition of her song I Love New York, Madonna roared, "Just go to Texas and suck George Bush's d**k."

It wasn't a cheeky swipe when the Vice President did it.

Watch Whoopi Goldberg take cheeky swipes.

Cindy Sheehan takes cheeky swipes. But we can't call them cheeky. They are properly referred to as sad or morose or mournful. Keeping up appearances you know.