Grey Lady Dumpster Diggin

I was so inspired by Iowahawk’s noteworthy dumpster digging, I decided to do some myself. I was well rewarded by exploring the New York Times most newsworthy receptacle. After traipsing through the horrible unpublished Abu Ghraib photos – prisoners denied exfoliants, prisoners forced to wear bonnets, etc. I came upon this gem entitled, Defining a Republican candidate’s wife, the Template.

It reads as follows:

Things weren’t so easy for [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S WIFE]. What were once tea parties and cotillions have now become whistlestops and campaign appearances at the side of her husband [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE]. Once the belle of the ball for [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S WIFE] now feels more like a token of her husband’s White House aspirations and the strain of it is now filtering down the ladder of his campaign staff.

“Early on we felt like she was one of us, trying to get [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE] elected. But now she is much more distant, like she wants this to all be over”, said an unnamed staffer.

Another well placed strategist for [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE] was more blunt, “We refer to her as the ‘witch’ when she’s not in the office. Whenever a staffer is mysteriously fired, we like to say that [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S WIFE] just cast another of her spells. It kinda lightens the tension here”.

But some opponents are even less diplomatic. “She is a Bitch with a capital B” a rival campaign worker said. “If she were driving a Bradley, she would seek out every dog in the neighborhood.”

But [INSERT NAME OF CANDIDATE’S WIFE] is not offended by her critics, “Its just jealousy from those less attractive and less successful”, she barks.

Well you know the rest.

Time to make a change

This lifelong Republican is gonna pull a Bloomberg. A party more concerned with pandering to the Hispanic vote than to securing the nation's borders is not a party I can be comfortable in. Here is a link to the New York State Board of Elections in case anyone else is interested in changing their party affiliation.

RUN FRED RUN

Scroll down for updates

I have been disappointed in the field Republican candidates. Nobobody excites me. I knew I'd have to hold my nose for one reason or another, whomever I ended up voting for. Maybe the horizon isn't all that bleak now. Seems there is a "draft Fred Thompson" groundswell starting on the internet.

For those unfamiliar with him, please check his Wikipedia entry. I bet you have seen one of his movies. He possesses all of the qualities Republicans need in a candidate - tough, articulate, witty and drips with credibility.

I now have a visual I can't erase from my noggin. I can just see Republican candidate Thompson standing next to Democratic candidate Edwards on a podium after a debate. Thompson is confident and assured, waving to the crowd. A disheveled Edwards tries to raise a smile but has difficulty holding back the tears after the ass whoopin he just took.

RUN FRED, RUN.

UPDATE: Fred Rules Freeperland:



UPDATE II: Howard Baker solicits support.

UPDATE III: Barnes, Kondracke and Krauthammer DON'T get it:

ANGLE: All right, we don't have much time left. There was some talk today that Fred Thompson might get into the race. Fred Thompson, who's now on Law and Order, but a senator and a jovial fellow who's known around town is also involved in the Scooter Libby defense fund. What are the prospects of that?
KRAUTHAMMER: Look, we've had an actor in a White House, but he also was a two-term governor of the largest state in the union and quite an accomplished political thinker. In getting a guy right out of a television show -- it's not going to happen, especially in wartime.
KONDRACKE: I completely agree with that. And Fred Thompson, you know, was the chairman of the government operations committee in the Senate and basically did nothing while he was there. I mean, he doesn't have much of a record.
BARNES: There's a space for more candidates, I suppose, always, but I agree with Charles, it's -- I mean Ronald Reagan, you know, was governor, he didn't just jump from Death Valley Days right to a presidential campaign.
KRAUTHAMMER: I'd say he's finished.

Tom Bevan correctly dispels their misgivings:

Personally, I'm not so sure. Thompson may have a shot for two reasons. First, experience is generally overrated. Two of the top-tier candidates on the Democratic side (Obama & Edwards) currently have eight years in the Senate between them - the same as Thompson. Second, persona matters a tremendous amount in modern politics and there are very few people who project more of an aura of strength and seriousness than Fred Thompson. It's hard to envision him standing on a stage debating Obama, Clinton, or Edwards and coming away looking like a lightweight.

I think the biggest challenge for Thompson is meeting the desire requirement. Is this something he really wants, and is really ready to put forth the effort it will take to keep up the grueling schedule of a presidential bid over the next twenty months? However popular Thompson may be with the party faithful, his entry into the race would be light years away from a coronation. He'd have to fight hard for it, especially against his good pal John McCain